Hi, girls. I don’t usually reprint posts from the archives, however I stumbled across one from June 2007 that still strikes a chord with me.
I believe it’s more about being considerate than it is about political correctness, cultural mores or stereotypes, however tell me what you think.
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—REPRINT—
Two weeks back I watched an Oprah episode titled “Children Ashamed of the method They Look,” which likewise introduced a new campaign to promote self-esteem for younger girls, O Girl, O Beautiful.
Oprah’s guests — celebs as well as a few routine people — talked about their experiences with beauty as well as self-esteem within their different communities.
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The story of two of the guests, Tangela as well as her son Najee, resonated with me, as well as here’s a copy from the Oprah website:
As a child, Tangela states she was teased as well as tormented by other African-Americans since of her dark complexion. Then, when she was 19 years old, Tangela discovered out she was expecting with her very first child. While most expectant moms just hope for a healthy child, Tangela prayed for something more.
“I would just state to God, ‘Please don’t make my son dark. Please don’t make my kid dark,’” she says. “I didn’t want him to experience what I experienced … being called names, being talked about.”
When Tangela’s son, Najee, was born with dark skin, she states her heart ached for his future. “I saw people looking at him as if something was wrong with him,” she says. “That’s the pain that I truly felt, more so than my own darkness.”
When Najee was 5 years old, kids started teasing him about his complexion. In kindergarten, he states a female classmate, who was likewise African-American, made a hurtful remark that he keeps in mind to this day. “The unfavorable comment was, ‘Oh, you’re so black,” he says.
As Najee grew older, the insults continued. “I’ve been called names like darkie, dark chocolate, blackie,” he says. “Most of my unfavorable comments do come from other blacks, as well as it’s extremely painful.”
Najee states he tries to hide his deep-seated insecurities from his buddies as well as household by pretending to be happy. however deep down, a lifetime of low self-esteem is starting to take a toll on him. “Sometimes I have felt that I didn’t even want to be on this earth,” he says. “Sometimes I desire that God didn’t make me this way.”
His mom states her biggest regret is not comprehending exactly how much pain Najee has been feeling over the years. Tangela states she tried asking Najee if anyone teased him, however he never wished to discuss it.
“I tried to provide him books as well as encouragement as well as let him understand he was beautiful. He had gorgeous teeth,” she says. “It almost didn’t matter exactly how much I told him since I didn’t understand what was going on.”
Tangela as well as Najee’s story made me believe of exactly how skin color is treated within my culture. I’m Filipino, as well as my experience with dark skin color seems a bit like theirs. most Filipinos think about lighter brown skin more attractive. If you’re a young Filipino woman running around outside you usually have an aunt, grandma or an older household buddy yelling at you to get inside “before you get as well dark.” as well as if you do tan somebody is going to make a comment about it; note: it’s never positive.
My routine skin color is on the darker side, however since I like the sun as well as being outdoors, I’m apt to get even darker with a tan. a number of of my close Filipino buddies as well as household constantly comment on the specify of my brown-ness: “Karen’s as well dark,” “Karen, your skin is sooOOOooooo dark,” as well as shameful comments like “It’s as well poor you’re dark like me.”
I can’t lie — it bothered me for a truly long time. I would usually just shrug as well as try to play it off like, “Oh, well, what can ya do?”
Last year a close Filipino buddy of 20 years made a comment a few days before my wedding. I don’t understand if it my was pre-wedding insanity, however I just snapped. I told her extremely matter of factly that, yes, I was quite damn brown, however that’s just exactly how I was as well as that I liked MY SKIN color as well as that BEING DARK WAS THE SHIZZ.
I’ve decided to celebrate my tan fabulousness however still get a touch upset when a buddy or liked one makes one of those comments. instead of shrugging it off I’ve decided to try to engage them (only the buddies as well as family) in respectful discussion: Why do you believe its okay to make that comment? have you noticed that I never frown as well as state “You’re so pale”? Did you ever believe that repeatedly stating something like “You’re as well brown” to one more Filipino may be hurtful?
I understand that speaking about it with my buddies as well as household won’t revolutionize unYakında olumlu kültürel klişeler, ancak yapılacak doğru şey gibi geliyor.
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Dost Topluluk Güzellik Bağımlınız,
Karen
P.S. Şu anda otel alanında bavulumu paketliyorum ve bir Strafor fincanından kahve yudumluyorum. Uçuşumuz bu gece 7’de Miami’den ayrılıyor, ancak buradan dört saatlik bir sürüş mesafesindedir. Hanımı eve döndüğüm kadar sekmeleri ve evimi görmek için sabırsızlanıyorum. İdeal olarak Hemingway’in evine olan saygım, besteleme becerilerime yardım etti, ancak bir şey bana bu şekilde işe yaramadığını söylüyor, lol!